Hey I'm moving to wordpress. Always wanted to, but never got round to doing it because I suck at choosing names. Be it for blogs, secret aliases,email addresses, team names for social activities (gold team and red team are prennial favourites) or whatever. I've never been on the high rungs of the ladder of golden smart, witty, cool names, much less original, Utter Kenfusion was the title of an autobiography I came across when I was twelve. :(
Anyway I've got down to finally getting a decent email account, hahaha kennethlim.zy@gmail.com, using hannah's one year old gmail invite. kennethlim was taken, kenlim might get Singapore Idol hate mail, kennethlzy is hella hard to enunciate and kenlimzy and its derivitatives just sound like acute viral infections. But I had to get one for uni applications, formal emails and the like. Doubt the dudes at American universities would embrace an Asian male who's utter_kenfusion. :( That account's still working though.
So yea, in lieu of this pursuit of professionalism I've joined wordpress, coz a) glassprisoned, although cool a la the Dream Theater song, doesn't really have much meaning, and the compromise and use of the past tense instead of the garang glassprison due to the lack its availability still peeves me at bit, and b) even though I adore the Opeth background which Jiayi got for me way back then,(the words at the top are from their great song 'Bleak), the grey on black doesn't really do well expressing large chunks of texts.
Yeah hence off to a new domain I go. I'll write something after I've finished exploring wordpress. Seems so idiotproof it's a little suspicious though. hmm. Anyway this weblog (blogspot) has been a Godsend outlet for me to explore my love for writing (free summore) and I'll continue to link it for the memories even as I turn, err link a new page of my life. But for now here's to a new beginning, a time to stop sleeping, to be conscious, to cease to sleep; to excite or rouse from sleep, to move to action, to wake:
http://www.waken.wordpress.com/.
actually chosen just because it has part of my name as its suffix, and coz I don't have to put a bloody '-ed' at the back. aiya just ignore the random idealistic dictionary definitions above.
cheerio.
Friday, September 07, 2007
May it be so.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
So time and tide changes,Like salty waves on grains of sand.
But be careful of its dangers,
I say to Dave Mustaine, and his band.
SIGH.
A Tout Le Monde - 1994 \m/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twNaAze771Y
A Toute Le Monde - 2007 o_O
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhAdjEvyWEk
Monday, September 03, 2007
I've always believed that something special happens when you fall asleep. You drift off into nothingness, like a balloon escaping the grasp of a little child, floating and wandering away while your eyes close, your heart beats slower and everything is that much more still, and clear. And then you dream. I was taught that dreams are figments of what you think about , say and feel in real life, but are dew covered mirrors if mirrors at all. I mean yeah they reflect the truth, but these notions are hazy, fragmented and gone in the morning.
I don't need to say what kinda dreams people have. When dreams occur we're automatically directed to this trove of hidden, suppressed emotions which are released and manifest themselves in our sleep. Dreams have expressed my joy, hope, desire, hurt, pain, remorse, fear in the weirdest but most plausible ways. Without getting into psychoanalysis and philosophy, I can safely admit that I feel my dreams and real life affect and interact with each other in ways I cannot explain. Wah lao, damn intellet.
I was told that God can tell you things through your dreams. And at this point of time in my life I'm yearning and longing for him to reveal his will for me. And if it doesn't smack me as a bellowing hurricane a dream would definitely suffice. But who am I to tell God what to do. Still it'd be nice to have some peace.
We all have dreams. When our bodies are at their most vulnerable we slip into this silk cocoon in the stars and we don't contemplate them any more. That's why dreams don't make sense - they don't have to. We don't find our dreams nonsensical because emotion does not require reason and which is why my heart feels it the most when I think about my dreams, if any thinking is done at all. Dream big, the idealist says. Live the dream, channel 5 says. But I'm afraid to. When my dreams fall my heart will shatter accordingly. And then what?
Sorry for this delirious drivel, ya'll know that if I could find the rights words to say I would. I need freedom from speech. J'ai besoin de la liberté! (hope that's right, go go go french revision!)
Sniff. Sweet dreams are made of these. And who am I to disagree?
Sunday, September 02, 2007
hear these praises, from a grateful heart.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
1) I have a fringe. I had a fringe when I was 8 and it seems that long hair's actually quite fun to keep, even if my perception of long is the same as buzzcut to Rapunzel. Probably will get busted tommorow.
2) Found tim seow's and bensoh-'s friend's wonderful film about lvoe while clearing up my old comp. Yea that's the title, A Film About Lvoe, a 8 min long epic about a leading male typing to a leading female "gimme a sex" instead of "sec" on msn and the ensuing chaos (co starring lele eating, michelle/cassandra in cedar uniforms and charles, darren and moi in drag. nah kidding.) The film's so bad it's absoultely amazing. (Tim Seow saves the film from B grade hell though, seriously.)
3) At night, everything looks better.
4) Only now have I truly tasted the sweet satisfaction of work completed via unadulterated focus and faith that the light at the end of the tunnel's not the incoming train. World Lit, IOC done and dusted at the cost of 7 hours of sleep in 3 days. It had a slightly sour edge due to the fact that the work was procrastinated work, but the aroma of warm maple syrup drizzled over fresh, piping hot pancakes was unmistakable as "This is the end of the Oral Commentary" was pronounced.
5) Highlander with schoolmates yesterday was mad fun. A part due to item no. 4. The music, company and drinks were all good. Fong's drunkedness was the single most amazing thing I've seen in months. "I want to go home...with JJ." Fat blonde's reaction to Fong's drunkedness at the taxi stand a close second.
6) The school's recent appreciation of marvel vs capcom is endearing, amusing, and weird all at the same time. I know none of this interest will last beyond two weeks, no one's really taking it that seriously, and frankly we've all got better things to worry about than connecting an air combo. But, it has been extremely fun teaching people how to play and to see their geniune interest, albeit for 5 mins , in getting good at a genre of games that nobody but a few care about.
7) I have never been able to answer 'what's your favourite food?' because I think it really depends. I'd love a huge bratwurst with grilled onions, ketchup and mustard any day, except after spending say three months in Germany living in a dingy, one room apartment above a bratwurst shop in which the ventilation for your place and the kitchen is one and the same. Too much of a good thing kills I guess. Still I can always appreciate a good steak. It's the only thing that I really eat slowly, so I can enjoy each cut and contemplate the flavourful juices locked in. Haven't really found affinity with the "take a cow, kill it, place it over a lighter for three min and haul it on my plate" type of rare steaks though. Sigh.
8) Contemplating steak is bordering on the gay.
9) I feel my faith in God growing stronger day by day. It's all good, and I mean I don't wanna preach or trumpet it all out, but when you get closer to Him, man your life's taken care of. I'm not one who likes to sit around doing nothing, and waiting for something to happen, but I guess sometimes you really need to have self - control and submit. I'm still learning though.
10) Kaela Kimura. I've never been into Jap music much, maybe the occasional X Japan record, but nothing serious, much lest the whole Jap female idol thingy. But for the sake of everything cherubic on this earth, how do you describe someone like this? Damn. Watch this video please, and well other videos. If she's not as awesome to you as I think she is, ah well. haha. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIFU2eCWmGE
11) I wanna get a regular gig in some club, jazz bar or something. There's something about being a session musician, or a permanent one in the night scene that's undescribable, alluring, and just all out appealing, which is what I can say for no. 10 as well, but I digress. After IB I hope to get a good horn, metal (jazz) mouthpieces and take lessons to refine my technique, get to know people in the industry. This may well set me back thousands though, so I'm gonna try saving up as much cash as I can, including my army pay (yea right) and hopefully get my own instrument by june next year. That's insane though, but I guess you need to spent a fair bit of money to get get a good sax, innuendo not intended.
12) Mr. Chirnside gave me an amazing suggestion for my future education the other day. I know I wanna become a journalist or at least for the first few years of my working life (may go into business or sth later), but so far I haven't been able to find good Unis offering journalism, besides UCLA and I don't know if I want to study mass com. Also doing pretty well for history last year, doing my EE in history and me hoping to do well for history this year, I do feel like I wanna take my learning of this discipline to a higher level. So I was telling him how I'm applying for the SPH scholarship (4 year bond for singapore unis, 6 for overseas) where you can study anything, but you gotta come back to work for SPH after that yada yada, so he said why not study history while you're at it? That sounds awesome, so awesome that I wonder why I haven't thought about it before. Sniff.
13) Time flies. House flies.
14) I've crossed my fingers, my brow, my eyes and my heart, hope to die. Here's to Saturday.
15) Joe Morrison and the gang, sounds so different. Maybe I need to start accepting change, and recognizing the benefits that change brings, but I miss John Dykes, Andrew Leci and the gang. No homo.
16) I really, really want to do well in French. It's more than an academic pursuit now, it's like the advent to a new culture, language and outlook on life. I haven't been taken it as seriously as I had Chinese and all in its heyday and I hope there's still time. :(
17) Watching Prison Break Season 2 faithfully every week since the beginning is so gratifying, namely because I had to wait a week for it. In the age where you can get past seasons, present seasons, and even seasons they haven't even made on the internet, it felt good, although a little stupid and old fashioned, to catch a series in all it's serial glory.
18) woohoo 18. The novelty still hasn't worn off. It's pathethic how happy and eager I am to whip out my ID nowadays. hahahaha
Incoherent, meandering stream of consciousness done. happiness! ! !
Sunday, August 12, 2007
MY GOSH WE JUST GOT A PENALTY! HAHAHAHAHAHAH CAN ONE LA!
I wouldn't mind a new template, address or host of this site to fulfil the recalcitrant longings for change, improvement, and if you're in Singapore, 'upgrading'. Something whiter, with black font? Sometimes I wonder if the current template's verging on the unreadable and convoluted. Too black la, sometimes. So any suggestions? Thankew.
Anyway, speaking of change, it's an old, somewhat cliched adage, but it seems like the only thing that has been constant in my life thus far is my desire to zhng it. It's a potent and heady mix, ambition, contentment, regret, satisfaction, fulfilment, pride, resignation, acceptance and how to balance all of them in the right degrees as you live out your life.
And as I approach the big one-eight (with the big two-one, three o, four o, five o etc to go), I just wanna live, you know, with a shirt that says I went through IB and all I got was these 42 points. You know, I wanna prove to myself that it's not too late, that I can turn this thing around, although the niggling worry that yeah you've missed the last train punk starts to snowball this time of year.
It's agonizing, but maybe not as agonizing as how the Arsenal Fulham match is going now. My gosh, so many wasted chances, whatifs and whatcouldhavebeens.
hahaha sounds familar. But its' ok, 10 mins/1 mth more. Singlish puts it so succinctly.
Can one la.
Delivered at 8:08 PM;