Thursday, February 09, 2006

There are some things in life that make you change your perspective of what's happening around you. Make you ask questions which don't really have any purpose, but by their answers you would have drawn meaning. What's victory, and what's defeat? A meagre difference between hope and despair. And then may I ask what's the motivation for wanting this difference so badly? Why do we even want to succeed if the outcome is the same? Disappointment. And this is why communism failed. Why put in effort if the reward is the same crap that everyone's getting.

But don't let me digress to Marxist ideology. I'm just having a semi dsytopian bout now. And don't try figuring out what I mean by certain things, and stuff like that because firstly I'm not trying to delve into secrecy and whatnot.I've got nothing to hide and I won't speak in riddles and jiggles if I've got something to say. Guess it's just a culmination of stuff over the past couple of weeks that have got me wondering what's my purpose in doing the stuff that I do. Not seeing instant results can make one grow weary and tired and I guess that I'm just an ordinary person, I don't know which way to go, and maybe I should take things slow..take things sloooowww..

haha. news flash. It's valentine's day in a bit..just gonna let that sink in. I don't know who's gonna dare to buy the hundred stalks of roses thingy from sch. They'll get stick no end. It's like just because you feel a sense of attraction to someone you're expected to do something about it. Not just during valentine's day, but everyday. It's as if just because you like someone you have been slapped with a set of rules and regulations that people expect you to follow. And if you don't..

It's a pie in the sky kinda thing. You want something but then you don't know if you do. It's quite confusing actually. Same with this entry. I should start writing more organized and coherently if I wanna ace my HLs which require an insane amount of writing I just realized. But this just shows my state of mind now I guess. I'm in constant limbo, kinda knowing my purpose in this sate of existence, yet I want more..


Sigh I do believe that I do not have the luxury of time to dwell on these confused thoughts. Maybe I'm born with it, or maybe it's Maybelline, but its my vocation to think, not necessarily rationally I must add. And my thoughts tend to wander all over the place.

I beg thee to rationalize me.

muchthanketh.
Delivered at 6:03 PM;


Name:Slumber Born:16th August


Him.K.anglo-chinese.music for the passionate.marvel.gunners. Orange.debate. long bus rides armed with an eye and a pod.74. philosophizing.dystopia. coffee.Rove.Health.Famary. Buddies. writing.1984. expression.Italian food. journeys.teh-peng. stream of consciousness. witty play on words.musing. accents.the heartrands.performing. being a closet connossieur. a point of view.vigorous interaction with spherical objects. irony&pathos.yum. JS.spirit.a girl that would smile


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