Monday, April 10, 2006

Oskays, so today was the start of Religious Emphasis Week, or Relationship Emphasis Week like the dude said. Hmm. Well, what do you really want me to say? Besides the fact that I think it's not very smart if you wanna have an outreach programme to the school, and have the majority of non-Christians skip it and go slack off in some tamil/malay room. Kinda defeats the purpose doesn't it? And well, there may be some MOE regulations and all that red tape bout subjecting students of different religions to three days of evangilism, but still. And how many of those people that attend REW actually do so for reasons other than skipping the first periods of the day, and to get some 40 + winks? 'Aite I won't be judgemental and condemn everyone there to fire and brimstone. Generalizations tend to screw people up. Especially if you generalize on the net. Woohoo blogs. Shudders. But the truth is that I feel less and less of the RE in the REW. To me it's the acronym for Really Exhausted Weaklings, or some other bad pun...

But what's important, well to me at least is that slowly I feel myself being a little cynical of the way the whole Christian shebang thing is going on in the school. Wait before you condemn me to fire and brimstone, just understand that I haven't been secularized. I haven't lost any faith in Jesus. I believe I know Him personally, and knows that He knows me. I love Him. And I do trust in and talk to Him. But I can't help but feel a tad annoyed and restless during chapel sometimes, when there is simply nothing besides the tangible that could convince me that this was in fact a chapel! It's like this whole Methodist ministry thingy is done out of compulsion instead of passion. And the powers that decide our fates are compelled to churn out the same staid material that is not in essence bad or lousy( I love hymns too), but really...are you gonna reach ANYONE if you don't notice that half the upper gallery during chapel can't follow the high pitches and uncommon melodies of the old hymns(i'm speaking on behalf of a non-christian student), and that another 1/4 are asleep?

Honestly. And I will say this straight. There is nothing. Nothing in the school, that makes me wanna become a better Christian. Wait, let me rephrase. I love ACS(Independent) so much that it pisses me off when some SJI parents say immature, and downright ridiculous stuff like, "It's because they have Year 5 students in the team so that's why they're so rough."And your point is? How in hell does the fact that we have seniors in our B'Div Rugby equate to someone biting the opponent? So you mean Sec 4s turn carnivorous once their 17 year old seniors enter the team? I'm defintely not condoning the act, but I do know the guy, and all I can say is that no one really justifys the Saint in their school logos anymore, so stop taking things outta context. Clearly you catch no ball. That's why you got mauled so badly dammit. The dude did wrong, but condemning the entire team and questioning our school's integrity is way outta line. I'm not gonna use any vulgarities because it may just decrease the elegance and standard of this tirade, but seriously.

ahwell, back to topic I guess. I'm in a little of a pensive mood right now, slightly perplexed. With regards to my faith, It has never wavered. And yet like I said, no one in the school, has made me wanna become a better Christian. It's true. I dunno, I have never been in the 'christian' crowd, seeing that I don't come from a Methodist Church and all, and there's always an air of elitism I percieve. But it's fine, as long as they're doing what they're doing for God ( I hope), I have no qualms. And I don't know, it's kinda weird? That while on one hand I do know what the speaker said, that Christianity is a relationship, not a religion because hell yea, that's the whole purpose of it all! But on the other hand its like this relationship is between Him and me, or should it be different? Alastair wants to mobilize all the Christians and "touch the school". I see it with tinted glasses though.. How can we touch the others? Is there a need to? Do people even care? And what's up with all the theology and head knowledge if you can't get to the hearts of the people? The need for guitars, drums, three lead singers and a host of other ornamental objects if the hearts of the people aren't there. Think about it. Why are we doing whatever we do for. It's not friggin Nike. We don't "just do it" around here. Yeah and that means not force feeding people theology. Stop forcing people to go to prayer meetings. It's not a frag count contest. And I mean, personally I have readily admitted I'm not your big Christian brother role model I would have liked to be. I do know that, and I haven't made myself out to be a holier than thou guy, although I wish I could say I was a better representation of God's character. sigh. But, to those who choose to associate yourself with the bible thumpers, and ya know filll their mp3 players with nothing but Hillsongs and Planetshakers, and other stuff...make sure you're not found wanting in the moral department.

I am not making excuses. Just because I don't attend the morning cell groups dosen't mean I don't have to live my life according to God's word. And I 'm learning, by myself I guess. But all I'm saying is that...don't be hypocritical. Please.


So I'm not really certain who my angst is directed against now. The system? Pretense?Hypocrisy? But all I know, is that REW should be just that, the rewind on the VCR of life (haha). Maybe I'll be able to rewind some of the stuff that has hardened my heart abit. Not to Christ, but rather to people, and sometimes I feel that I dont' owe people a smile if I don't mean it. And I don't owe people a kind word if they don't deserve it. But who knows, press the remote and maybe after this LONG ASS post I can turn back some time, and be mr. nice all over again..

tick.
Delivered at 9:55 PM;


Name:Slumber Born:16th August


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