The Men - Charlotte Delbo, Auschwitz Et Apres

In the morning and in the evening, on the way to the marshes, we walked by columns of men. The Jews wore civilian clothes. Tattered clothing with a red lead cross smeared on their backs. It was also the case for the Jewish women. They fastened these shapless clothes about their persons. The others wore striped unifroms that floated upon their thin backs.

We pitied them because they had to march in step. As for us, we walked as best as we could. The kapo, at the head, was fat, warmly dressed, and booted. He called cadence: Links, Zwei, Drei, Vier. Links. The men found it hard to keep up. They were wearing canvas foot-wraps with wooden soles that did not stay on. We couldn't imagine how they kept on walking. When there was snow or ice, they carried them in their hands.

They had the special gait we all had over there. Head thrust forward, neck forward. The head and neck propelled the rest of the body. The head and neck pulled the feet. Deeply circled eyes with dilated pupils burned within their gaunt faces. Their swollen lips were either black or bright red and when they parted one caught a glimpse of bleeding gums.

They walked past us. We whispered, " We're French, French women." just to find out whether there might be fellow countrymen among htem. We hadn't met any yet.

Intent on marching, they did not look in our direction. However, we looked at them. We stared. Our hands were wrung with pity. The thought of them, or their gait, their eyes haunted us.

There were so many sick women among us unable to eat that we had a lot of bread. We tried to talk them into eating, to overcome their disgust for the food we were given. They had to eat in order to survive. But our words failed to arouse their willpower. They had given up on arrival.

One morning we carried bread under our jackets. For the men. We failed to meet a men's column. We waited the evening impatiently. on our way back we heard their tread behind us. Drei. Vier. Links. They walked faster than us. We stepped aside to make way for them. Poles? Russians? Pitiful men, oozing misery like all men here.

As soon as they were abreast of us, we took out our bread and tossed it to them. There was a mad scramble. They caught the bread, fighting over it, snatching pieces from one another. They had wolves' eyes. Two of them rolled into the ditch with the bread that had escaped from their grasp.

We watched them fight, and wept.

The SS shouted, setting his dog on them. The column reformed, resuming its march. Links. Zei. Drei.

They did not even turn their heads in our direction.