I am feeling rather heavy laden right now, as I tend to do, the night before I go to Band Camp, as well as during the nights in Camp, mainly because I don't really get much sleep, and when you don't get much sleep, you tend to think. And your thinking is oft heart shaped. And rose tinted.
It's times like these where you wish you had someone, that special someone to send a message to, and your phone would whirr in jubilation a mere two minutes later, or to give a call to and hear a familar voice, shaking off the first moments of sleep and perking up at the sound of yours. It's times like these where you know that you're not alone, that someone across the country's thinking about you the same way you're thinking about her. Your face is lit up by the warm glow of companionship, and the world spins on, but at a pace which neither bogs you down or makes you afraid.
I'm a retard for stayingup late at night in a cold year four classroom wondering if my phone might whirr for the love of all things good, pondering and pining while the rest of humanity sleeps on unperturbed by these feelings of youth, passion and things hoped for but things never attainable.
Have you ever watched a certain episode of Mr. Bean, where it's New Year's Eve and Mr Bean lies in his bed, having gently and lovingly put Teddy to bed in his snug drawer, feeling himself loved, snug and warm under the covers as he had just celebrated a New Beginning with friends, a couple of men, whom he considered, even if they had not, to be companions. Mr Bean closes his tired eyes, a warm smile creeps across his face, but is soon enough erased with the shout of "Happy New Year!" reaching his ears, stinging like a bullet. Didn't he? Wait..Didn't they just.. Wasn't it just..?Why did..?
He's not angry, he's not sad. You can't be angry at losing what you didn't have, nor can be disappointed by someone that never was . He's just thinking, and wondering. A heart shaped thought, rose tinted thought. And I'll bet, that even after the laughter track fades, and the credits roll, even after the screen blackens and he is no more, the man still thinks, and wonders.
And I doubt he'd get much sleep too. I think so much because I know so little, and you won't tell me otherwise.
Delivered at 12:42 AM;
KENNETH
Name:Slumber
Born:16th August
FANCIES
Him.K.anglo-chinese.music for the passionate.marvel.gunners.
Orange.debate.
long bus rides armed with an eye and a pod.74.
philosophizing.dystopia.
coffee.Rove.Health.Famary.
Buddies.
writing.1984.
expression.Italian food.
journeys.teh-peng.
stream of consciousness.
witty play on words.musing.
accents.the heartrands.performing.
being a closet connossieur.
a point of view.vigorous
interaction with spherical objects.
irony&pathos.yum.
JS.spirit.a girl that would smile