Life would be a painless process if we could develop amnesia and forget something at its passing. That way, life would not need to be an experience, as the term connotes nostalgia, reminiscence and learning. Without the need to hearken to the past we as people could just walk along by looking foward and not having our heartstrings pulled back by an imaginary force like a brutal master reining in his errant steed.
In this void we would be without such lofty ideals such as loyalty or love, and there would not be a need for something as useless as relationships which bind rather than free, stirring up restlessness rather than providing comfort. If each person, object, institution or idea we come across and interact with was just a part of the above process called living, not influencing our thoughts, beliefs or feelings(no point for these too) and dissipating into nothingess upon contact, the world would be clean, a blinding white state of existence which would not be marred by hot crimson feeling and wants.
The world will not be happy. The World will not be sad. An unfeeling world is an efficient one, with everyone guided by pragmatism and the loud trumpets of money and other tangible bullshit. Ah, one laments, if only we could detach ourselves from such time wasting notions like loyalty, character and spirit, then we can speed up this throughtrain and reach utopia faster, heck maybe by even Term 2 week 1, ehh?
Institutions crumble to dust. Honour and Pride ebb in the dwindling fire. There is no place for sandcastles in the sky. We are A Crushed Spirit. We have been tricked, thrust into a masquerade for 12 long years. Screw the red tape and veiled darts. This is what we are, and what we possses. A Crushed Spirit Inside. I am disillusioned and I know no longer where home is, in this age where loyalty, a sense of ownership and belonging and everything that was dear to our hearts count for as much as a blood caked spear and shield against loaded barrells in open terrain.
If only we could forget the past. That way, 12 years under the same banner counts for nothing, 6 as a member of the only institution worthy of the title Band of Brothers (holy shit he's actually emotionally attached to one CCA?! More CCA better! More CAS hours!) counts for nothing, and 18 years as an individual who still in his heart wishes to change the world..counts for nought.
I bang my fist on the table and lament why why why why can't I be like other people, foccused on task at hand and whose existence revolves around 45? Why can't I convince myself that the old Institution has shattered and dissolved. That a place of navy blue ties, assemblies outside sunlight classrooms, parades in an asphalt parade square without obtrusive monuments, "we the citizens of Oh Shit", student activity centres with warm lights, chairs of orange and blue, pizza at $1.20, bermudas, changing in the classroom, sweaty backs and soccer filled days, dismissals at 2.40, teachers who knew and understood, all boys, juniors who respected those in long pants, creaking lockers, a turfless astroturf ('hockey pitch'), interclass soccer, philemon, ephraim, habakkuk, enoch, blue, red, yellow green, Boot Polish, Godspell, SYF 2003/2005, dates that don't make sense to anyone else, friends, comrades, brothers, true blue ACSians ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC
does not exist, no more.
We grow up, we move on, we lead different lives. I'm just truly afraid that what I will be remembering will not be what I want or should be remembering. Aiyah, to cut a long story short, everyone should develop amnesia. Let's all go change the world.
Delivered at 6:48 PM;
KENNETH
Name:Slumber
Born:16th August
FANCIES
Him.K.anglo-chinese.music for the passionate.marvel.gunners.
Orange.debate.
long bus rides armed with an eye and a pod.74.
philosophizing.dystopia.
coffee.Rove.Health.Famary.
Buddies.
writing.1984.
expression.Italian food.
journeys.teh-peng.
stream of consciousness.
witty play on words.musing.
accents.the heartrands.performing.
being a closet connossieur.
a point of view.vigorous
interaction with spherical objects.
irony&pathos.yum.
JS.spirit.a girl that would smile